Natural Attraction Blog

The 10 Ways Guys Kill Attraction In Women

I think pretty much every guy out there can identify with some point in their life where they shot themselves in the foot with a woman (and if you’re honest, probably multiple times). So in order to help stop this mass masochistic act from continuing, I’ve provided an emergency defibrillator pack to resuscitate your swagger. Avoid these 10 items like the bubonic plague and you’ll be well on your way to letting nature work its spell on all the attractive women you come across on a regular basis.

10 – Being Overly Agreeable

If you’ve never noticed this phenomenon among men, let me bring you up to speed. Take a look at how a normal guy transforms into an super attentative and overly excited puppy when talking to a girl he just met. You would swear that women are all master comedians and orators the way most guys act around them. Give it a rest guy, the fact that she lives in XYZ town and went shopping today really isn’t that interesting. No, seriously. It’s not. Stop scrambling your brain trying to find a tangent to such a boring response. She doesn’t care if you like shopping where she shops as well.

9 – Overactive Facial Expressions

This one’s an extension of the previous one. When guys are overly agreeable and honored just to be talking to an attractive girl, their eyes and face will light up like it’s Christmas. News flash: it’s not, so take a trip back to reality and realize you’re talking to a normal human being. It’s disgusting when you’re overly excited about nothing when she has done nothing to deserve it. Professional comedians are damn funny, and even THEY have to go out every night and earn every laugh they get. No one gets a free pass. Not her either.

8 – Talking Too Much

The most common thing most guys do as soon as they’re in a conversation with a new girl is fill up all the silences with nervous conversation. Trust me, when there’s a lull in the conversation for whatever reason, no one is fooled when you desperately throw a hail mary question or comment in an attempt for silence to not be “awkward”. This is unnatural behavior, you wouldn’t try so hard to fill the silences when you’re just hanging out with your guy friends. Make friends with tension and awkward moments.

7 – Lack of Touch With a Purpose

Touch is one of the most hotly discussed topics in a seduction, especially since it’s one of the more concrete ways to solidify a connection with a woman. Most men simply do not touch women who they’re interested in enough. It’s as if they think that women are as delicate as brittle china that shatters at the slightest touch. But mainly, they’re scared that the woman will not appreciate his advances. Don’t go the off the opposite side of the spectrum, where you’re touching her and trying to “attract” her. Always touch with a purpose, and remember your purpose is to seduce her. Touch accordingly.

6 – Breaking Rapport

Who’s not guilty of this one? Pretty much every guy has gotten it in their head at one point that if being the nice (pushover) guy doesn’t work, then being the cocky and arrogant jerk that women seem to love would work. Actually, it doesn’t. When you think you got the perfect cocky and funny line or a better answer that shows how witty you are, in most cases you are dead wrong and you get docked points for trying to be something you are not. Best case scenario? You’re right, she believes you have the cajones to back up your statement, but then the dynamic between you two has turned into you vs her. People on opposite sides of a fight do not hook up.

5 – Talking and Not Listening

An extension of the Talking Too Much syndrome above is when the guy doesn’t listen to what the girl is saying. Now when most guys think of listening, they think of some Dr. Phil segment or some relationship segment on how to listen to your partner better. This is not it at all, when you listen neutrally more than you talk, you set the silent expectation to her that what she says should be important. You’re expecting her to contribute good conversation and not listening to her like a happy camper listening to a bed-time story. (See #9)

4 – Making One Big Move

One of the worst things you can do is to put all your eggs in one basket and risk it all on one big extravagant move with a girl you like. It stems from a previous item, Lack of Touch With a Purpose, and the result is usually a guy keeping the vibe between him and a girl largely platonic until he makes that one big move, which is usually a kiss or a confession of love or something. Keep your touch purposeful and the rest will fall into place.

3 – Waiting Until You’re Alone To Act

If you haven’t noticed it yet, all of these points build on top of one another, and this one is built on top of having the need to make that one big move. Because the big move has been built up so much, it’s extremely hard for most men to escalate anything with a woman unless they’re alone in a 1-on-1 setting. What’s the result? Platonic vibe and conversation hoping that they can get them alone to make the move. Ditch the move and ditch the need to be alone to seduce her.

2 – Bailing Her Out

You ask her out for a date, you ask for her number, you plan an outing… she flakes on your advances and with the speed of a mongoose, you reassure her as quick as possible that it’s ok and that it’s perfectly fine. Aww… what a nice guy, so considerate of her feelings considering she just exhibited anti-social behavior. I mean think about it: if you were gonna take a good guy friend out for dinner sometime and he couldn’t make it, the first thing he would do is show his gratitude and suggest an alternate date. Most men reward bad behavior from a woman with nervous apology. She just did something messed up and you’re the one apologizing? This one’s a deal-breaker for killing attraction.

1 – Having The Need To Impress Her

All of the above attraction killers all stem from one critical thought, and if you get rid of it, everything else pretty much takes care of itself. The urge and need to impress her, show her how cool you are, make a good first impression, show her your best side… all of these are symptoms of the same disease. You are placing her (unfairly) on a pedestal before you even know her well, you are coming from the position of a beggar trying to entice her with cheap tricks. The truth is, you’re NOT a beggar. She is not some sort of holy grail. She’s just a girl with her own flaws and you are just a guy with your own as well. Nature never designed for you to be attractive only if you were flawless, that is an unfortunate side effect of the conditioning of our society that says you need to do this or that in order to deserve love or get women or respect. If you think you can out-attract nature, you are grossly wrong. Be who you are without shame, with pride, and let the chips fall where they may. I’m pretty sure you’ll like where they land.

For more information on how to naturally let attraction happen between you and a woman, check out the free presentation I put together on how to attract women that you meet within 5 seconds without risking rejection at:

http://howtogetwithagirl.com/friends/

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How Technology Can Get You Laid

Unless you’ve been living under a rock recently, you’ll no doubt have realized how quickly the world is changing due to the ever-increasing rate of technological developments. Technology is being used to improve the quality of the simple things in life, like finding a new favorite restaurant courtesy of Yelp, finding business addresses on the go, etc. If it can help you find a new place to experience some new orgasmic food, logic dictates that it should be able to help you find experiences with orgasmic new women as well. Dating sites like Match.com, eHarmony.com, PlentyOfFish.com, and OKCupid.com have tried to capitalize on this for some time; but counter-intuitive as it may seem, these dating sites all have the same critical flaw–information overload.

There are little to no barriers to entry in online dating on these sites. Unlike in a trendy nightclub with loud music, flashing lights, and groups of intimidating tall beautiful women that smugly dare you to try to talk to them, there’s absolutely nothing preventing you from engaging these same bombshells in a message online. As such, an extremely attractive woman will typically get a few hundred messages a day from guys who think they are being clever or witty. It’s no wonder that these women lose interest in the site and stop using it very quickly, leading to the 6% response rate referenced in OKCupid’s messaging study. That means that you have will only have at best 6 women out of 100 that will even read what you have to say and acknowledge it.

The solution to all of this? It’s simple really, and chances are you already have an account there. I’m talking about Facebook.

Think about that for a second–if YOU already have an account there, then who else also likely has an account there? Chances are the next woman you date will have a Facebook account already. So in this case, Facebook is more like a directory that lists potential women you can date rather than qualifying yourself and submitting your résumé and life story to the cesspool of dating sites.

Now Facebook is inclined to keep the user experience clean and relatively pain-free for its users, lest it degenerate into the same fate that Myspace had. As such, they make it extremely hard to randomly go around surfing for girls unless you know what you are doing. Luckily for you, you will be one of those few people who know what you’re doing by the end of this article.

The first step to do (assuming you already have an account) is to do some spring cleaning on your profile. Now you can definitely go all out in this step, and doing a whole revamp of your profile is beyond the scope of this article, but in a nutshell, make sure:

You have a GOOD profile picture of yourself up. Generally these aren’t clubbing photos of you and your bros shitfaced and delirious. Profile pictures of you doing whatever you love doing are generally awesome
Supplement this concept with more pictures tagged or albums of you doing what you love doing. People love to see other people doing what they love doing
Set your privacy settings so that the women you contact will be able to see as much information you have on your profile as possible
Write an interesting or engaging sound byte for your tagline. This appears right below your profile pic and is often the first thing people see besides your profile pic. Make your first impression memorable
Where at all possible, don’t list any of the information about yourself in plain vanilla terms. Once again, we are trying to show any prospective people our best selves. If you’re ambitious, don’t say “I hope to make something good out of my life one day”. Women are naturally more emotional creatures than we are. As such, if you want to effectively communicate to them, then you need to inject something more emotional and gripping. Check out my good friend’s bio I ripped for a good example of effectively using emotional writing to convey your personality.
Make sure you have a few hundred friends. A good rule of thumb is 350+ friends at a minimum. If you don’t have that many, do a search for a popular game like FarmVille, join a group, and then add a bunch of random friends. About half the people you add will usually add you as a friend.

Now that you look presentable, and all that’s left is to go and meet some women! Now before I had said that Facebook purposely makes it hard to just click around and surf for girls unless you know them or have mutual friends in common. Others claim this is a viable method, but I’ve always disliked having to use the fact that you have mutual friends in common to engage a woman in a conversation. It automatically makes her have to play by the rules of social convention since she doesn’t want to commit any social faux paus. So what is the alternative?

Well we know already that Facebook makes it easy for you to find people you already know, so let’s use that to our advantage. Take a look at a reference I put together on The 1000 Most Common Female Names in the United States. For our sake, I’ll just take a snippet of the top 5:

Go over to Facebook and hit the Home button, go up to the search bar and type in Mary. Now, since you want to meet people you can actually MEET in real life (since you know, you need to meet a person in real life in order to let technology help you get laid), go over to the Filter by: Location area and type in the region you are closest to. In my case, it would be New York, so that is what I type in.

And almost as if by magic, you now have a list of every single girl in New York by the name of Mary who has Facebook (which is everyone). Now you can go through the list, look through pictures and limited profiles, and see which ones you like based on that information alone.
So let’s say a prospect catches your eye as you’re scrolling. Yeah the pictures are small, but all guys are trained to instantly hone into a female showing skin. She looks promising, you click on her to go into her profile.

You’re greeted with the default screen shown to people you’re not yet friends with. Still, you can gauge some information from it. For one, you can tell from her graduation date that as a high school graduate in 2010, a question of her legality comes into play. You are officially in the danger zone. Let’s see what else we can gather about her though as we dig deeper.

You can click on See All under her pages to see what her main interests are. So she likes 2pac, Las Seventies, and Ninja Saga. The mental picture of your prospect fills in bit by bit as you look over their page. Taking another look at the Wall tab, you see a rant by her like this:

Since only young people type liEk DiS, it’s congruent and pretty much confirms everything we already knew, and we can now move on to someone else. Repeating the process above, let’s say we find a girl that we like and want to contact them. When in doubt, remember to K.I.S.S., and keep things as simple as they can be. I send a message like so:

Since we have prepared our profile for inspection by her already, we can rest assured that keeping it simple will indeed be enough. The only goal of the initial message is to get her to read it and click through to your profile, where a little bit more of your personality can shine forth to her. She’s either going to like it or not like it. Similarly, the only goal of further communication with you two is for you to get closer to her. Go for as many ways of reaching her as possible. AIM, GChat, Skype, all let you talk to her outside the scope of Facebook. This is the time to be normal and curious about her, but from a screening frame. She has to prove she’s interesting enough for you to meet up with her or get to know her better. Remember, everything you say should either be designed to build more comfort and rapport with her or to demonstrate what kind of person you are.

When you’ve talked enough on facebook and chat etc (however long this is varies by person, it’s however long it takes for YOU to get comfortable), conclude one of your messages or chats (preferably an interesting one) abruptly with something along the terms of “hey, I gotta run. What’s your number, let me finish my thoughts in text”. This is much more low-key and easier for her to give you than if you left it out since there’s such a strong social definition of what giving your number out to a guy means.

From there, you can largely ditch the online stuff and use the phone for most of your communication. If you want to talk to her, call her or text her. Then when there’s enough comfort between you two on the phone, send her a text randomly with “I feel like I’m totally going to kick myself later for this, but what are you doing on Thursday night at 7:03 PM sharp?” (obviously substitute whatever time for whatever time works for you)

Make sure you get a straight answer from her of whether or not she’s free. If you’re getting “why?” and you can’t turn it around, then it means you have some more work to do. Usually something along the terms of “not sure, what’s up” means she’s open to your suggestion, and that’s when you tell her “Meet me at The Frying Pan on the West Side Highway at 7:03 PM then”. Follow up whatever text she sends next with “Oh, and wear something cute too”. This will hook most women a good majority of the time. For the ones that it doesn’t, it just means you need to try again later.

Remember the ONLY purpose in chatting or texting or talking on the phone IS to get her to meet up with you. Don’t lose sight of this.

Once you’ve met up with her, you can proceed and seal the deal with a move I call “Milking the Intro“, and I’ve even put together a whole presentation on it for you over at:

http://howtogetwithagirl.com/friends/

Questions? Comments? Leave them below.

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The 1000 Most Common Female Names

The following is a list of the 1000 most common female names in the United States. It is fairly self-explanatory and is extremely useful for things like Facebook game.

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