Escalation is Attractive

We’ve all heard Aesop’s famous fable with the tortoise and the rabbit.  Contrary to the lovable children’s tale though, being slow and steady in seduction will absolutely kill your chances with a woman.  Allow me to explain:

When you talk to a woman, she has anywhere from 30 seconds to a few minutes to form a very quick opinion of who you are, if she wants anything to do with you, what kind of person you are, and what category you’re going to fit into.

You have a lame first 30 seconds, she’s going to suddenly realize she has bladder problems.  If you’re Mr. Wild and out-of-control “nimbus-blazing”, slick talking pick-up artist, she’s going to be mildly entertained at your eccentric behavior.  You do well over the next 2-3 minutes, you’ve successfully convinced her that you’re that “cool guy she met at the bar”.

Problem for you is “cool guy she met at the bar” is also the guy who she isn’t going to go home with.  You’re also “has-been” cool guy the moment doubt, hesitation, or performance fright creeps in.

Congratulations.  Within 5 minutes you have been labelled, categorized, and filed in her mind in regards to who you are to each other.

Now it becomes quite obvious why waiting awhile to make a move becomes one of the biggest things limiting your success.  You THINK you need to wait x amount of time before making an overt physical move.

The truth is you can make your “it’s on” move (ie. the mutual hand caressing test or kissing) as early as the first minute. And if she is initially attracted to you it will work.

Waiting too long just flat out kills your chances.  You have a good minute to 5 minutes before she concretely figures out all the details she needs to know about you in relation to her.  These first few moments are the probably the most powerful and influential ones you have with her, regardless of the outcome.  You can never shape who you are to her as strongly as you can in those first few minutes after you meet her.  Guys are usually at their best during the first few minutes of vibing when the sexual tension is strong.

You are a round lump of clay at that point.  Once it starts taking the shape of something, it’s hard to reverse its course.

I know this because I have screwed this up many times myself. There have been plenty of times when I had a strong sexual connection with a woman right away. She would look at me seductively and smile, we got really close and I could just feel that it was definitely ON.

But because all this was happening in the FIRST minute or two I thought I still had to wait a little bit before making that mutual physical move. (ie grabbing her hand). It’s as if I thought making an overt move so quickly would blow my chances forever or she would reject me because it’s too soon to do stuff like that.

The truth is there is NO set defined amount of time you need to wait before you can make it officially “on”. If attraction happens in the blink of an eye (seconds) then WHEN you decide to make that attraction official and mutual should be as soon as possible.

You Don’t Have All the Time in the World

Here is what usually happens:
When things are going really good at the beginning, you ASSUME you have “all the time in the world” to make that overt-mutual physical move. You figure you will get around to doing it (escalating) eventually. No hurry, no worries. She’s really into me.  But what ALWAYS ends up happening when two minutes turns into five minutes…and then into ten?
That initial sexual vibe starts to weaken. She moves slightly away from you. Now she isn’t smiling as much. She has already asked you the prerequisite getting-to-know-you questions. Then her friend comes over and interrupts the vibe.  Hmm.

Now you start doubting yourself so you put off making the OVERT move again as you WAIT until you can get things back like they were in the beginning.

You went from thinking it was TOO EARLY to make an overt-physical move to now being AFRAID to make an overt physical move.

The Bottom Line

The bottom line is you want to make the attraction “official” as soon as possible. And all that is at this point is making ONE overt physical move.  It’s really JUST about revealing and crystallizing the attraction that is already there, WHEN it’s there.

Here’s the kicker–just because she was attracted in the first minute doesn’t mean she is going to be attracted to you forever. The feeling of attraction and sexual tension fluctuates and dips like anything in life.  Your connection with her is not solid yet because in reality she just met you.  So the best time to make your overt move and make the attraction mutual is during that automatic spike in attraction that usually happens naturally during the first minute.

Obviously you want to take advantage of the attraction when it’s there. It just so happens that when you first meet a woman and you are the new mysterious guy you automatically get your best chance to make the attraction official.

The Key Point:
Once you make the overt move and your connection becomes mutual, your interaction with her can now survive the natural interest level fluctuations (the ups and downs) that are bound to happen throughout the first ten to fifteen minutes of hanging out.

Avoid the BIG LETDOWN
As soon as you sense the feeling of attraction, you want to make it official. That is the real point of escalation. Don’t put it off. It doesn’t matter if it’s only 30 seconds in. Take advantage of the fact that things are usually at their best in the first minute or two.

If I were to give you a new $100 bill that could potentially combust and turn into ashes at any moment, would you dilly-dally around in spending it?  You don’t know what the next 10 seconds, 30 seconds, or minute will bring.  All you know is the value of what you have right now.

If you have a genuine attraction connection between you and a woman, do NOT let it go.

If you don’t make the attraction official, it will feel like a big letdown for her later when her initial interest dips and nothing mutually physical has happened yet.  I’m sure you have noticed that it always gets a bit awkward when you start out FAST by escalating the vibe sexually but then you waste time dicking around with incidental touching and never make that mutual- physical move.

Once the initial tension/attraction starts to fizzle without something mutual happening, the vibe usually gets a bit weird.  This is the most common point where interactions die.  Most interactions never recover from this fast start and weak finish.

That awkward tension and weird vibe comes from a feeling that something was supposed to happen…but it didn’t.

You are now pretending to interact with each other in the “friendship frame” after starting out with a “strong sexual vibe”. You both know you are being fake so it doesn’t work.

The authenticity and genuine vibe of mutual attraction seeps out, and pleasantries fill its place.  Is it any surprise that this situation very quickly turns into “well nice meeting you”?

Vibe starts out strong > You think it’s too early to make overt physical move > Vibe weakens a bit > Now You are Afraid to make an overt physical move > Interaction Stalls > It gets awkward > Nice Meeting You

This also ties into the misconception that talking to a woman for a long time means you are doing good. I see it as just the opposite. In my opinion, if I see a guy talking to a woman for more than a few minutes without making an overt physical move… it usually means he is doing bad.

So remember fellas, when you’re handed a highly volatile $100 bill, use it to buy something tangible before it spontaneously combusts in your face.

Burning currency is illegal.  Don’t do it.

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It’s not religion or pressure from society that leads to this social phenomena of women pretending they don’t love sex.  What is it that makes them say eww when you mention sexual stuff or pretend to be offended when you bring up some perverted topic?

Like most things in life, you only need to follow the money trail to get to the core of why things happen.  For the purposes of the rest of this article though, I will interchange the words “money” with “resources”, especially since that’s what money entitles you to at the end of the day.

Remember, when you diminish a woman’s purity (or just purity in general) you are actually costing HER resources.  Think about that the next time you wonder why a girl gives you a hard time about getting sexual.  You are costing her access to resources.  Purity is a hundred billion dollar industry.  There is an unbelievable amount of cash in purity stock. It’s just not smart financially for a woman to admit that she loves to have group sex and to pleasure two guys at once.  You won’t ever hear this stuff in public because women eventually have to sell some guy the fantasy of purity.

Why Women Hate Sluts

Why do women call other women sluts and get so mad when they show lots of skin?  Do you want to know the real reason her friends cockblock you?  Because when a woman acts slutty, she lowers the overall price of purity for all other women.  Purity like a stock, but the price is not based on the value of the company or a commodity, it’s value is based on a fantasy.  The stock price is based on the fantasy that women are somehow less sexual and less horny than us.  This is big business, and this is one that the 100 billion dollar industry has no interest in seeing go away.

How much money is invested in romantic dinners, roses, gimmick holidays like Valentine’s Day, etc.,?  How much money is spent in a typical courtship of a woman?  If women did not even attempt to put on an inkling of the fantasy of purity, would YOU be spending all your resources to please and placate a woman you were out on a date with?  If women were allowed to admit how anxious they were to get in YOUR pants, where would the long and expensive courtship process go?  We’d be more like ravenous animals than “cultured” human beings.

And so the charade continues, like something straight out of a martyr’s autobiography.  The more a woman can resist her desires and fool herself into thinking increased purity gives her more value as a person, the more entitled she feels.  In many ways, this is no different than the affliction of the delusional person that believes his one special thing makes him better than others.  Whether this is a tangible thing like an expensive car or a characteristic like being funny or alpha, there’s no doubt that at the end of the day, they’re all just empty “reasons” for feeling better about yourself and “reasons” as to why you should feel confident.

Notice how the only chicks who are honest about how much they love sex are the same ones gaining a massive amount of resources from it. For example: take porn stars and strippers.

They will happily admit the truth about how promiscuous they are, how much they love casual sex, and all sorts of other sultry things because they don’t lose any money by throwing purity out the window–in fact, they’ve found a way to make the truth profitable.

What’s your average looking girl say about women of these professions?  The only thing she can say about them as a misdirection.  Because the truth is that were she were stripped of her purity fantasy, she would fall from the equivalent of lavish royalty to homeless status.

I mean, what would you say if someone were to compare you to Brad Pitt and you needed to keep some amount of respect for yourself?  Most likely some little story in your life about how you’re REAL and all these other euphemisms which are all saying the equivalent of: “I have nowhere near the amount of resources this person has, I don’t have the ability to generate them either, so I will make some giant push about something trivial that I somehow believe the other person does not have the ability to have”

Sorry to burst your bubble, but you are not more “real” or in “touch with the people” than the same person who has busted his ass to get to where he is today.  In the same way, it is equally ridiculous for some average girl to conclude that she is somehow more worthy of a person or desirable in the long run than another woman who has managed to make a living without relying on the crutch of selling fantasy stock.

There is no Securities and Exchange Commission for your dating life, so the only way to prevent yourself from an Enron debacle is to smile amusingly the next time someone tries to sell you Monopoly property for real life resources.  She can make all the assertions in the world of what she expects from you before she will let you into her “Park Place”, but when you know it’s all a big joke, there’s nothing much more that needs to be said.

Just smile.

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Be Genuine to Screen People

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What a guy said recently:

The Best Part
After anyone talks for a long period of time about themselves, and you don’t comment on what they just said, they often feel a bit self-conscious. Hey, this is no secret trick. It’s just natural. Now don’t get me wrong, she is happy you were paying very close attention to her. But she never gets that validation she was hoping for. And lets face it – this is validation she is used to getting from everyone.

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Salesman.

Oh Boy, Do I Have A Deal For YOU!

The mere thought of salesman conjures up images of snake oil salesmen who tell slippery lies and half-truths in order to get you to buy whatever sham and garbage they are trying to get rid of.  Everyone is wary around him and they are only about one notch below DMV employees in terms of likability.  If you bought a car from this guy and it fell apart magically a few weeks after the return period, I’m sure you wouldn’t be the least bit surprised.  Indeed, you would probably chalk it up to learning a life lesson and swear you’d never deal with such shady people again.

Let’s pause a second and take a look at a list of these masters of manipulation–what traits do they possess?

• Using superior verbal and communication skills to mask the fact he is selling an inferior product that isn’t worth anything
• Concerned more with pushing garbage onto everyone in sight than having his product help others
• Manipulation of others is standard operating procedures in order to pursue his own purposes
• Publicly scorned
• Social outcasts that no one wants to admit to being friends with
• Untrustworthy

The Seduction Community: Running On Cheap Attraction Tricks Since the 90s

Does this list of traits sound surprisingly and perhaps scarily similar to another sect of people?  If you thought the Seduction community, then you are extremely smart or probably just read the title of this article.  Indeed, the rare  student of seduction that does reach the highest levels of “salesmanship” in the craft is trait by trait exactly the same as the above.  In fact, many of the principles developed in the original community came from sales techniques used back then.

Notice the term that I used–rare. It is extremely rare that an individual becomes a master manipulator through the seduction community, and so the most common fate most have is the equivalent of an idiotic salesman.  If you read my previous study interlinking the cause and effect of trying to pull a fast one and manipulate womens’ emotions, these are the people who actually succeed less because they’ve traded whatever identities they had for the identity of a man who has those traits above.  They are doing the equivalent of  making a customer who comes in already wanting to purchase a specific car jump through so many hoops and making them deal with so much BS that they change their minds of wanting to buy a car in the first place.

What the heck?  I already said I'd buy, why are you still trying to sell me?

Congratulations!  Not only have you failed to match any prospective clients up with a vehicle, you’ve actually managed to drive away a few of the ones who were ready with money in hand waiting for you to bring out the paperwork for them to sign.

Everyone’s heard of one of these stories in the seduction community where some guy is so “centered”,  ”grounded”, or “solid” that he manages to pull multiple times in one night against all odds in some impossible situation.  All the fanboys grasp to these straws and tell themselves that this is their goal, that this is the picture of what being a “pick-up artist” or success with women means.  They try and live up to this impossible standard all the while tearing down their own self-esteem because they aren’t at that level.

The Similarities Stop Here

Ironically, this is actually where the split between the sales force and the seduction community occurs, because the salesman who counts on being able to sell ice to an Eskimo or sand to a Saudi Arabian prince on a daily basis is also the salesman that is buying his food with food stamps.  No one cares about the modern salesman’s most unlikely sales situations, there’s a reason why people ask what a person’s sales NUMBERS are.

If you’ve been following this train of thought so far, you’ll realize that the modern salesman is in fact just a successful business.  Unlike the traditional used car salesman, a successful business doesn’t need to be manipulative or benefit from your loss.  There is only one need a business has: to find out what your needs and desires are and matching them up with a solution that it has.

Even if you’ve never studied sales before, most of this should not come as any surprise to you.  The distinction i will make is that many times an organization’s success or failure will depend more on this core principle than anything else.

Top Dogs

For all the ingenuity, leadership, and things that a corporation like Apple has going for it–and despite the fact that it just passed Microsoft as the second largest company, there is another company that is much more large than it.  Exxon does not have the visionary leadership, innovation, R&D labs, and multiple-market domination that Apple has.  It operates in one industry.  That’s it.  And yet how is it superior to Apple in market cap?  It’s very simple.  While Apple has done an otherworldly job making modern day luxury items seem like necessary, cool, and hip items, Exxon has done an acceptable job providing natural resources to the world that are required for modern-life.

You see, at the end of the day: people commit and buy for their own reasons.  Don’t ever lose sight of that fact, because regardless of what most of the seduction community tries to preach, when a woman makes a decision to become involved with you, it is because you are fitting into some part of her agenda and plans.  How many men have women left who they were in love with because they unable to commit to the woman’s long-term relationship goals?

I swear, she likes me cause I'm special and unique like my Mommy said!

It doesn’t even have to be that serious either, if you were a hipster and a girl visiting from out of town who’s always wanted to hook up with one happened to meet you, she made the choice for herself before you ever even opened your mouth.  All you had to do was not mess it up by showing signs of dementia, insanity, or other warning signs.  The fence goes both ways too, you think you pick a girl because of this or that attribute you think she possesses.  The truth is she’s merely fulfilling a need or agenda you have.  And as guy, we have carte blanche to revel in the fact that immediate sexual gratification is one of our strongest agendas.  Don’t believe me?  If a hot girl were to stroll in and ask a straight man to get out there with her for a night of pleasure, even a caveman would be able to tell you the ending to that story.

And herein lies the moral to this whole story:  most guys  (regardless of if they’re into the seduction community or not) get led astray by society into thinking their best chances of getting with a girl is to be something they’re not in order to sell them.  And so they refine their sales pitch, the smarter ones refine their appearance and product and secretly wonder why their success rate is so abysmal.

Buy me and you'll be everyone's envy!  I swears!

Instead of trying to be successful by beating the odds like the anomaly that is Apple, take a page from Exxon’s book.  Offer her pleasure plain and simple.  You are a pleasure dispenser, nothing more and nothing less.  Every other guy is trying to trick her into getting herself some pleasure.  You’re not.  It doesn’t matter if any particular client doesn’t want your services.  Pleasure is a powerful thing.  The same dopamine and chemicals released by sexual pleasure are the same ones released when you do something as addictive as meth.  If you’ve never visited a methadone clinic, I’ll save you the time and emotional trauma by summarizing that 97% of these people are likely never going to be able to escape the habit.

Take a second and think about how many women are with absolute disgraces of men.  How many of them endure abusive relationships, mental red-flags, and other horrors?  How many of these same women will defend their mates with illogical and delusional reasons that make absolutely no sense to anyone but to her?  Modern day “love” makes both men and women do some absolutely insane things that make no logical sense at all.

The Power Within Every Human Being

This is the kind of power you’re playing with.

Knowing that, why would you ever make excuses or downplay what you can bring to the table?  Especially when you will probably be the one guy she’ll ever meet who will offer her this kind of pleasure with no foolery, no conniving, no manipulation, and most importantly with no strings attached.  This is natural attraction at its core– and with a few hundred thousand years of instincts built into this mechanism, I’d say it’s served its purpose very well.

Going Green

Given the choice of trying to convince others that you are something they want and offering them something you know they need, I’ll take the second one hands-down every day.  And luckily for you, while the adoption of electric cars and pure sources of green transportation arise and phase out Exxon’s prominence in our society, nothing is going to ever come up to make your pleasure offer obsolete.

Except perhaps the new iPhone, get one and you will get laid

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Today, I would like to show you a very disturbing and shocking statistic on why your attempts to attract, impress, and convince women that you are cool may have way more dire consequences than you realize.  As I’m sure you’re aware, people can lie; but numbers cannot.  Tread lightly and take the numbers to heart.

A national study conducted by United States government showed that the average man sleeps with 7 partners throughout the duration of his life.  Why is this significant?   Regardless of your relationship and mating goals, only having 7 women throughout the course of your life means that you have a very small pool of women to sample.  Throw in the fact that you only have about 63 years where it’s possible for you to mate, (Life Expectancy of average male in the US: 78 – Age when reaching adolescence: 15 = 63 years) and suddenly reality hits you in the face.  Hard.

"Hello, I'm reality."

The Average Number Of Sexual Partners For Men is ONE Over An Entire Decade

I can guarantee that you have already known about this fact intuitively.  Sure, you might not have known it was 10.5 years, but take a look at ANY initial male to female interaction and you will see that “the proof is in the pudding.”

"I swear I'm not normally this desperate"

Normally cool men suddenly become extremely fake and become the poster-child for supplication.  They fawn over her every word even when she has said nothing of substance.  They’ll suddenly be willing to do things to make her life easier that they wouldn’t do for their good friends.

Their body suddenly goes into emergency mode and does anything and everything possible when it realizes that this woman could be The One.  No, not that “The One”, merely the one to end their dry spell.  10 years is a long, long time to flounder around aimlessly.

Your Sex Life

Feed a man the same food every meal for 10 months and put a new dish in front of him.  You can bet that the same type of thing will happen and his instincts take over and make him trip over his feet to make sure he gets it.

Leave a man with the same or no woman for 10 years?  Now it suddenly becomes much more clear why normally cool and solid guys will degenerate into the type of creatures that typically send women running.

I’m sure you’ve asked a female friend before what she looks for in a man and I’m also sure you were a bit puzzled by her answer.

“I just want a guy who’s real”
“All I want is a guy who treats me decent”
“All I care about is that he doesn’t cheat on me”

Her response doesn’t make much sense on the surface because pretty much you and all the people you know all pass these seemingly low-bar requirements.  She might as well have been saying it’s so hard to find a guy who has 2 hands and 2 feet.  We immediately dismiss what she said as crazy talk.

The truth is that this unnatural and beggar-like behavior is the single thing that kills your chances of hooking up with women the most.  An even more surprising fact is that most guys think they are actually tricking others when they put this fake persona forth in order to bait others to like him.

I’m sure you know that dude who thinks he’s so smart and slick.   He thinks he’s pulling a fast one on everyone while  everyone laughs at his obliviousness.  Don’t be that guy.

Statistics On EXACTLY How Much Trying To Attract Women Is Costing You

I promised you numbers, here are some that I have gathered over the last 3 weeks in meticulous fashion.  A homework assignment I give all my new clients is to talk to at least 30 women and to try and make her sleep with you using whatever tactics, techniques, humor, or comedy that you know.

I do this because I want to give them undeniable proof and a glaring contrast of how useless all their funny little jokes, lines, and supplicative behavior is as opposed to using natural attraction.

I tell them to keep track of everything; from how many interactions turn into phone numbers, how many of them end in kissing or makeouts, and how many of them turn into sex.

For each woman, the only categories the interaction can end in is:

1. nothing happened at all besides talking
2. got the phone number
3. kissed her
4. had sex

For example, if a woman gives you her number and then later you meet up and it turns into kissing but no sex after a week, then you put a tally under kiss and not number.

Here are the results of me running down and harassing 20 previous clients who have their numbers on hand:

Now this data is a bit confusing in its raw form, so I’ve taken the liberty to  convert it into something much more meaningful.  I took the total number of phone numbers, makeouts, and lays a client had and divided it by the total number of engagements he had.  In other words, I divided the number of milestones with a woman by the total number of women he talked to in order to rate his effectiveness and efficiency in using his time.  Now we have some useful and relevant data to work with.

We all desire to be better with women for different reasons and goals, but regardless of if you want multiple girlfriends, just a plain jane girl, or a hot stunner, these goals cannot start until sex begins.  Until you have a woman invest in you and you two mutually cement your attraction for each other with sex, nothing ever really begins.

With that said, I also took the total number of lays each client had and divided it by the total number of women he engaged, to get an idea of “ultimate goal efficiency“.  The other things could still pan into you sleeping with a girl, but until that happens, that’s all it is–a possibility.

The average amongst the 20 clients in ultimate goal efficiency was 3%.  In laymen’s terms, that if you talked to 100 women, you’re closing the deal with only 3 of them.

Not bad numbers by any means — except for the fact that if you do a statistical regression analysis on the average number of women who like each archetype of men, the lowest percentage that should ever hit is 5%.  That means that even if you have a collection of the most unattractive traits, at least 5% of the female population will be attracted to you.

Whoa–hold up there a second, how is it possible that fewer women are attracted to you when you are going out of your way to show them how cool and impressive you are?  It makes no sense, you must be doing something wrong right?  Maybe your lines need to hit harder, your jokes need to be a bit sharper, your frame a little stronger.

And so the story continues, you go about your business trying to improve these things and you see marginal improvement.  Most of my clients come for coaching right around Client 1′s level.  They’re pretty decent, can talk to women with a little prodding and can inconsistently close the deal.  With the usual progression, they’ll get to Client 15′s level after 6 months-1 year.

When he came to me, Client 15 was already running around talking to every girl in sight.  He’s been doing it for a long enough time that he has little to no fear and he’s pretty smooth with his lines.  If you watched as a bystander, you would swear he was the biggest pimp you’ve ever seen.  He has women laughing all over, frequently having wild outbursts that have people questioning if he’s drunk (he’s not).

The thing is, he has a dirty little secret that he doesn’t tell anyone about and very few people know that he is no longer improving much at all.  In fact, most of the time, he feels like he’s no longer having fun because he feels like the only thing his efforts are doing is barely keeping his skills in check.

This is by far the most common situation the advanced person who comes to me  has.  He’s in the start of a slump, he’s no longer having fun he’s more concerned about keeping his hard-earned skills from slipping.

Let’s be honest, talking to so many women with the intent to make them like you and only achieving your goal 5% of the time?  On top of that, nearly 4 out of every 5 women will have NO INTEREST in you.  To pile on the pain, it’s a double whammy because you were TRYING to interest her and make her like you.

This is the exact reason I tell all my clients to do this exercise, to see both sides of the coin right after one another for the drastic contrast.  And let me tell you, there is a DRASTIC difference.

Better yet — let me show you instead of telling you.

Here are the results from the same group during the course of a month after the experiment.  The only criteria I gave them was that you could only log down your statistics if you used the principles of natural attraction.  As you can see from the data, each client talked to far fewer people while leveraging mother nature to help them attract a woman.

This is to be expected, because it’s hard to suddenly stop doing something you’ve been doing your entire life.  Fortunately for my clients, the learning curve to adopt this new behavior is insanely short because of the night and day difference in results they get.  Here is the same data transformed into the same indicators of efficiency:

You can see from the following summarizing chart: commitment efficiency went from 17% to 56%, which is a 329% increase in efficiency.  As amazing as that change was, ultimate efficiency actually went from 3% to 28%. This is an increase of 933% in efficiency.

A Real-Life Example Of What A 933% Increase In Results Would Mean

To put a 933% increase into real-world terms (since none of us think in abstract numbers), if you were working part-time at McDonald’s as a “Fast Food Worker”.  You would be getting paid $7.48 on average (source: PayScale).  If you average the usual 28 hours of work a week and work 50 weeks out of the year, you would make $10,718 after a year of flipping burgers.  ($7.48 * 28 hours * 50 weeks).

What kind of lifestyle is someone on that kind of budget living?  You’re most likely struggling to meet basic needs, forget about living “the good life”.

"Damn man, for some reason these girls don't want to come around my crib no more"

Let’s say now that you got that 933% raise in your salary at work.  Would this make some kind of difference?  I’ll save you the math, you’re now making over 6 figures a year and your hourly rate just jumped to $70 an hour.

"Flossin' On The Cover Of Fortune"

The kind of life you would have before and after that 933% increase are worlds apart, and the contrast in the dating world is no different.

What does it say about your character and how you feel about your own worth when you’re acting like you’re in the presence of royalty in front of a woman?  What is the overlying message when one person is trying to impress and convince another person that they’re cool?  The list can go on using traditional psychological evaluations for why this unnatural and “trying to attract” women behavior kills your chances with women to even worse than your percentages should ever statistically go.

Here’s a study on speed dating that mentions the change in frame that completely reversed a trend in speed dating.  Typically women say yes to their speed date almost 2x fewer than the men.  In this study with one tweak, suddenly the women are the ones who are qualifying themselves.  Frame is a powerful thing.

Deluding yourself into thinking you are more effective than 160,000 years of human evolution is pitiful at best.  Humans have been reproducing and mating for even longer than we’ve been able to communicate verbally with each other with grunts or other guttural sounds.

The truth is, everything in our modern society is designed to minimize tension between men and women.  If it were not, we would be “wild and untamed” animals who run around having sex with everyone everywhere.  Men are taught to be nice to women, to cater to her needs, to get rid of any awkwardness as fast as possible–even if the reason it’s awkward is that she just rejected your advances.

Think you can win against mother nature?  Guess again.

You cannot win against nature.  To put the nail in the coffin on this topic, here is a highly referenced article on how the mathematical symmetry of a person’s face directly influences a person’s perceived beauty:

http://www.intmath.com/Numbers/mathOfBeauty.php

So there you have it — statistical proof that working with nature always bodes well for you.  There’s only 3 things that are necessary in natural attraction and seduction.

1. Meet woman
2. Don’t break tension even when baited
3. Make sex offer

For more information on how to attract women, check out this free presentation on how to attract almost ANY woman from your first words to her within 5 seconds:

http://howtogetwithagirl.com/friends/

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I think pretty much every guy out there can identify with some point in their life where they shot themselves in the foot with a woman (and if you’re honest, probably multiple times).  So in order to help stop this mass masochistic act from continuing, I’ve provided an emergency defibrillator pack to resuscitate your swagger.  Avoid these 10 items like the bubonic plague and you’ll be well on your way to letting nature work its spell on all the attractive women you come across on a regular basis.

10 – Being Overly Agreeable

If you’ve never noticed this phenomenon among men, let me bring you up to speed.  Take a look at how a normal guy transforms into an super attentative and overly excited puppy when talking to a girl he just met.  You would swear that women are all master comedians and orators the way most guys act around them.  Give it a rest guy, the fact that she lives in XYZ town and went shopping today really isn’t that interesting.  No, seriously.  It’s not.  Stop scrambling your brain trying to find a tangent to such a boring response.  She doesn’t care if you like shopping where she shops as well.

9 – Overactive Facial Expressions

This one’s an extension of the previous one.  When guys are overly agreeable and honored just to be talking to an attractive girl, their eyes and face will light up like it’s Christmas. News flash: it’s not, so take a trip back to reality and realize you’re talking to a normal human being.  It’s disgusting when you’re overly excited about nothing when she has done nothing to deserve it.  Professional comedians are damn funny, and even THEY have to go out every night and earn every laugh they get.  No one gets a free pass.  Not her either.

8 – Talking Too Much

The most common thing most guys do as soon as they’re in a conversation with a new girl is fill up all the silences with nervous conversation.  Trust me, when there’s a lull in the conversation for whatever reason, no one is fooled when you desperately throw a hail mary question or comment in an attempt for silence to not be “awkward”.  This is unnatural behavior, you wouldn’t try so hard to fill the silences when you’re just hanging out with your guy friends.  Make friends with tension and awkward moments.

7 – Lack of Touch With a Purpose

Touch is one of the most hotly discussed topics in a seduction, especially since it’s one of the more concrete ways to solidify a connection with a woman.   Most men simply do not touch women who they’re interested in enough.  It’s as if they think that women are as delicate as brittle china that shatters at the slightest touch.  But mainly, they’re scared that the woman will not appreciate his advances.  Don’t go the off the opposite side of the spectrum, where you’re touching her and trying to “attract” her.  Always touch with a purpose, and remember your purpose is to seduce her.  Touch accordingly.

6 – Breaking Rapport

Who’s not guilty of this one?  Pretty much every guy has gotten it in their head at one point that if being the nice (pushover) guy doesn’t work, then being the cocky and arrogant jerk that women seem to love would work.  Actually, it doesn’t.  When you think you got the perfect cocky and funny line or a better answer that shows how witty you are, in most cases you are dead wrong and you get docked points for trying to be something you are not.  Best case scenario?  You’re right, she believes you have the cajones to back up your statement, but then the dynamic between you two has turned into you vs her.  People on opposite sides of a fight do not hook up.

5 – Talking and Not Listening

An extension of the Talking Too Much syndrome above is when the guy doesn’t listen to what the girl is saying.  Now when most guys think of listening, they think of some Dr. Phil segment or some relationship segment on how to listen to your partner better.  This is not it at all, when you listen neutrally more than you talk, you set the silent expectation to her that what she says should be important.  You’re expecting her to contribute good conversation and not listening to her like a happy camper listening to a bed-time story. (See #9)

4 – Making One Big Move

One of the worst things you can do is to put all your eggs in one basket and risk it all on one big extravagant move with a girl you like.  It stems from a previous item, Lack of Touch With a Purpose, and the result is usually a guy keeping the vibe between him and a girl largely platonic until he makes that one big move, which is usually a kiss or a confession of love or something.  Keep your touch purposeful and the rest will fall into place.

3 – Waiting Until You’re Alone To Act

If you haven’t noticed it yet, all of these points build on top of one another, and this one is built on top of having the need to make that one big move.  Because the big move has been built up so much, it’s extremely hard for most men to escalate anything with a woman unless they’re alone in a 1-on-1 setting.  What’s the result?  Platonic vibe and conversation hoping that they can get them alone to make the move.  Ditch the move and ditch the need to be alone to seduce her.

2 – Bailing Her Out

You ask her out for a date, you ask for her number, you plan an outing… she flakes on your advances and with the speed of a mongoose, you reassure her as quick as possible that it’s ok and that it’s perfectly fine.  Aww… what a nice guy, so considerate of her feelings considering she just exhibited anti-social behavior.  I mean think about it: if you were gonna take a good guy friend out for dinner sometime and he couldn’t make it, the first thing he would do is show his gratitude and suggest an alternate date.  Most men reward bad behavior from a woman with nervous apology.  She just did something messed up and you’re the one apologizing?  This one’s a deal-breaker for killing attraction.

1 – Having The Need To Impress Her

All of the above attraction killers all stem from one critical thought, and if you get rid of it, everything else pretty much takes care of itself.  The urge and need to impress her, show her how cool you are, make a good first impression, show her your best side… all of these are symptoms of the same disease.  You are placing her (unfairly) on a pedestal before you even know her well, you are coming from the position of a beggar trying to entice her with cheap tricks.  The truth is, you’re NOT a beggar.  She is not some sort of holy grail.  She’s just a girl with her own flaws and you are just a guy with your own as well.  Nature never designed for you to be attractive only if you were flawless, that is an unfortunate side effect of the conditioning of our society that says you need to do this or that in order to deserve love or get women or respect.  If you think you can out-attract nature, you are grossly wrong.  Be who you are without shame, with pride, and let the chips fall where they may.  I’m pretty sure you’ll like where they land.

For more information on how to naturally let attraction happen between you and a woman, check out the free presentation I put together on how to attract women that you meet within 5 seconds without risking rejection at:

http://howtogetwithagirl.com/friends/

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